It’s never OK to say that’s so gay

Nice to see this video from the Teens React series to cover something more serious, about Jonah Hill being a dick calling someone a faggot (I can use that word, as a gay man, you can’t Jonah!). I’ve noticed this tendency over the last decade or two, the whole ‘that’s so gay’ thing, the f-word and ‘no homo’ thing in hip hop and general nastiness towards the LGBTQ. People try and sugar coat it, or make out they are not being homophobic. Sorry, you are. It’s never OK. It is homophobic. Sorry, it is, you are wrong if you think otherwise. How can I say that? Because I’m the target of that slur.

Straight people don’t see the harm because *newsflash* they aren’t queer. They aren’t LGBTQ. They don’t have this drip drip thing, although some do in different contexts…interesting that it mostly was the black and asian kids that got that in the video because they can relate it to other terms, and the damage they cause.

I describe it as ‘drip drip’ because like racism it’s not just one thing usually…it’s a whole lifetime of little things, comments, insults, people shouting at you, having to be really careful in public, digs, people debating your right to exist or marry as if it’s normal, youtube comments and religious people telling you that you will go to hell, and news from abroad of those being hurt or killed because of who they are. And then you explode at some point and people are like ‘What’s your problem? Why are YOU so sensitive?’ – pure victim/other blaming – not realising all the hundreds or thousands of tiny little cuts that got you there. They wouldn’t, as they usually are privileged white middle class straight people.

When you become as I described the Queer Feminist Killjoy (must get that t-shirt, it’s like the whole #misandry but queer! Yay!) or some kind of Pink Hulk Go Smash – or what others become the ABM (Angry Black Man) or any other pissed off role – it’s like all this stuff has built up as a pressure gauge you and is some kind of Falling Down moment. I wish all of this crap didn’t build me up to that Bruce Banner moment though, however it’s intended it just fucks up your day, and it’s really hard to ignore because it’s everywhere, ingrained in society and civilisation. Telling people to ‘man up’ (hmm, gender role straitjacket!) or somehow be ‘stronger’ doesn’t solve the problem. Other people not being unthinking dicks generally does though.

For those still facing this, I find a sarcastic and bitchy ‘That’s SO straight!’ with added eyeroll does wonders, laced with scorn about their dull lives that have to hate on others and compare a whole community to weakness or bad things. You do have to be out though.