And I filled my head with so much shit
And I dreamed and I dreamed of it
Of love and it’s opposite
Long white dress
There’s been a lot written and talked about gay marriage over this week (HRC? Seriously? Read this) but I’ve always had a difficult relationship with marriage, be it gay or otherwise. From my mother’s two disastrous ones, to all her children refusing to get married, the romantic bullshit I was fed, dreams of confetti to more recently turning down a marriage proposal because it seemed not the right time nor reason, it’s been a strange and long journey.
And that’s without all the assimilation desire that many fags seem to have, it goes *way* beyond the unsexy pension rights and visitation rights – which should be fought for. No some want the picket fence, the Great Dark Man, that 2.4 kittens fantasy mapped onto a 21st century homo/metrosexual frame. And of course, my relationships never fit with that fantasy, too many, too old, too open, no kids, no property. So yes I fight for something I don’t actually believe in.
But we are queers, why are we playing by their rules? We make our own, and apart from fiscal and legal equality, why do you want to live in an institution (to crib the old joke?)
This song by Tracey and the other Oh! The Divorces is a rare thing, something that resonates on that – so many songs about getting married, falling in love, falling in line. Not so many about not getting married, feeling resistant to the romantic crap you get indoctrinated with – even scared of marriage being the opposite of love? Interestingly Tracey Thorn and Ben Watt were together 28 years without marrying and only recently wed.