Worst Music Videos Of All Time

I’ve posted quite a few over the years – IceJJFish, Christian music videos, various Musical Car Crashes which are in this list but I won’t repost them. A recent Facebook thread added some more to this stack, like the Candlemass track above. This was the first video by Jonas Åkerlund famous for that Ray of Light video, Lady Gaga & Beyonce – Telephone, Prodigy’s Smack That Bitch Up video and sadly Roxette. Surprised after this monstrosity he ever was allowed to make a video again!

Jan Terri is a wonderful person, but she’d be the first to admit her early videos leave a lot to be desired. But she’s become famous off this and other videos of hers, and appears on video podcasts, so it has a good ending. Better than the video, anyway!

Again another one I thought I’d posted this Finnish space disco meets Rene and Renata style video, but a search says not. Apparently this is Armi Ja Danny with ‘I Wanna Love You Tender’ and some really odd dancing that makes Pan’s People look like the Bolshoi.

And third in the ‘did I not post this?’ – maybe it was my LJ or Twitter. Tommy Seebach’s video for his version of Apache, which I’m pretty sure I mentioned on the podcast is a classic, and spawned many redubbing videos around 2007 – most famously with Prodigy such as Voodoo People or Breathe.

“We’re about to learn some grill skills!” – not exactly a normal music video, but a training Wendy’s video from 1989 with a legendarily bad rap about making burgers. Check out the part two after the tutorial, it has animated singing female burger patties.

Autotune has a lot to answer for, and one of the top atrocities along with D4NNY and IceJJFish is Rehdogg – Why Must I Cry. Like Ice I’ve got no idea if this US Virgin Islands rapper/reggae artist is serious, certainly also check out his other response to apparently being left by Tammie Star, with extra Lord of the Ring outfits.

Even though it was an official video from a well known song, the video for Men Without Hats – Safety Dance still gives me nightmares from when I saw it as a kid. It’s like Time Bandits meets Wicker Man, and makes no sense at all. Welcome To The Pleasurdrome has a more logical plot than this.

Stop War. Yeah. C’mon. One time. Business. Check! Hungarian strangeness from Speak called Sometimes (People Make A Video And Then Don’t Know What It’s For). Yeah. C’mon. Together.

And a few decades back the US police spent their money making rap videos rather than ex-military gear and driving around in large armoured vehicles shooting tear gas. ‘I’m not vanilla ice’ – no shit! This is El Paso PD’s attempt at being street. Oh dear.

And here are a few compilation videos (how can it be Top 5 EVER if there are 3 of them? Odd.) of some monstrosities – particularly love the I wanna get high and die kid, no surprise that’s deleted, I bet he got grounded. But I complete deny that Chinese Food or Rebecca Black’s Friday as being bad, as they are genius pop moments, and the videos are actually good, if cheesy. But D4NNY and yes, Ice JJ Fish definitely count in the Musical Video Hell.

And finally I’ll leave you with the genius that is Joget to the Moon by Peter John Anak Apai. Legendary.

Juan Maclean Go To Space

I’ve been digging the Nancy Whang / Juan Maclean collaborations, but this is something else. Full on 8 minutes of space disco/rock, in a Moroder style.

Space is the Place and I want this now. September (when the album drops) is way too long, like a trip to Mars…bodes well for the new LP, too. (sort of via Jeb 50 Pound Note ;-)

RC 219: (Not) Space Disco 3.2: Loving the Alien

We continue the journey through space loving the gay alien with the second part of the  Space Disco 3 show, this is mostly not space disco at all – hence the title – but a continuation of the journey from space disco to electro, funk and chicago house, featuring re-edits and remixes, as well as a lot of 80’s classics. I think this mix works really well, and is one of my best in a long time!

Dedicated to those we’ve lost: Ron Hardy (DJ at the Muzic Box, first person to play acid house), Sylvester (the Black Angel), Patrick Cowley (synth pioneer) and Arthur Russell (future jazz/funk/disco alien).

Big kisses and thanks Thomas for help providing some of the tracks.

The Third Agender (1:47, 105Mb)

  • Copycat – Blind Esmeralda (Sylvester vs Santa Esmeralda)
  • Frankie Knuckles feat. Jamie Principle – Bad Boy (The Movie Mix)
  • Pluuto – Isn’t it Crazy (Razormaid mix)
  • Ron Hardy – Sensation (Short)
  • Robert Owens – Bring Down The Walls
  • Pet Shop Boys – It’s Alright (Razormaid mix)
  • Gay Marvine – Heaven
  • Bottin – Eagle
  • Sylvester – Menergy (Deep House Remix)
  • Frankie Knuckles – Baby Wants To Ride
  • Anne Clark – Our Darkness (Razormaid Mix)
  • Virgo Four – In A Vision (Instrumental)
  • Jamie Principle – Waiting on My Angel (Dub Mix)
  • Frankie Knuckles Feat. Jamie Principle – Your Love
  • Sylvester –  I Need Somebody To Love Tonight
  • Sylvester – You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) – Live

RC 218: Space Disco 3.1 – Waiting On My Angel

First part of a new Space Disco show – but rather than the previous shows mostly covering the prime of late 70s Italo Disco and Space Disco, this goes into what happened next, aka Close Encounter of The Third Gender – Where No Man Has Gone Before Without A Whistle And a Glow Stick (And Some Poppers). Aliens, orgies, polysexual, glamorous, dramatic, synthetic, futuristic, camp, dayglow and endlessly pumping, what’s not to like?

So it’s disco, space disco, hi-nrg, electro, experimental funk hybrids into Chicago House – what kept the space beats (and space beast) alive into the 1980s. The first part covers mostly the disco and Hi-NRG era, with occasional forays into very early house music…which gives the episode it’s title.

Both shows are dedicated to those we’ve lost: Ron Hardy (DJ at the Muzic Box, first person to play acid house), Sylvester (the Black Angel), Patrick Cowley (synth pioneer) and Arthur Russell (future jazz/funk/disco alien).

P.S. It was Giorgio Moroder’s birthday yesterday – happy birthday Giorgio!

Zeus In A Tight T-Shirt GoGoing With Ganymede, Dionysus in the Darkroom(1:07 – Yes it’s a short show for once! – 67Mb)

  • Jamie Principle – Waiting on My Angel (Club Mix)
  • Ganymed – S’Punk
  • Sylvester – Stars
  • Ganymed – Saturn
  • Patrick Adams Presents Phreek – I’m A Big Freak (R U 1 2)
  • Sylvester – Do Ya Wanna Funk (Joseph Watt Remix)
  • Material – Take A Chance
  • Arthur Russell – Go Bang
  • Gay Marvine – Baby, Let’s Trip Out
  • Sylvester – Take Me To Heaven (An Ian Levine Remix)
  • Ganymed – Stand By Your Love